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August 12, 2004
Summertime

In case you didn't know, this summer has been no where near as good as last year. Every weekend for about 2 straight months it would rain, and the winter would never go away. Anyways, the past two weeks or so we have had excellent summer time weather.

So, the other day I was driving home from work on a nice warm day and heard the old song "Summertime" by Will Smith. I thought it was great since I hadn't heard it for a while, and since it was finally summer time, everything just fit perfectly. Well, since then I have heard this song at least another 4-5 times. Apparantely the German radio stations are intent on people knowing it is summer time. I bet Will Smith hasn't gotten this much air time since he first released back before the turn of the millenium (1999). Anyways, below is a sample in case you haven't heard it, and also the lyrics. Enjoy.

Sample Summertime

Intro/chorus: sung

Summer, summer, summertime
Time to sit back and unwind

Verse one: fresh prince

Here it is the groove slightly transformed
Just a bit of a break from the norm
Just a little somethin’ to break the monotony
Of all that hardcore dance that has gotten to be
A little bit out of control it’s cool to dance
But what about the groove that soothes that moves romance
Give me a soft subtle mix
And if ain’t broke then don’t try to fix it
And think of the summers of the past
Adjust the base and let the alpine blast
Pop in my cd and let me run a rhyme
And put your car on cruise and lay back cause this is summertime

Chorus

Verse two: fresh prince

School is out and it’s a sort of a buzz
A back then I didn’t really know what it was
But now I see what have of this
The way that people respond to summer madness
The weather is hot and girls are dressing less
And checking out the fellas to tell ’em who’s best
Riding around in your jeep or your benzos
Or in your nissan stting on lorenzos
Back in philly we be ou in the park
A place called the plateau is where everybody goes
Guys out hunting and girls doing likewise
Honking at the honey in front of you with the light eyes
She turn around to see what you beeping at
It’s like the summers a natural afradesiac
And with a pen and pad I compose this rhyme
To hit you and get you equipped for the summer time

Chorus

Verse three: fresh prince

It’s late in the day and I ain’t been on the court yet
Hustle to the mall to get me a short set
Yeah I got on sneaks but I need a new pair
Cause basketball courts in the summer got girls there
The temperature’s about 88
Hop in the water plug just for old times sake
Break to ya crib change your clothes once more
Cause you’re invited to a barbeque that’s starting at 4
Sitting with your friends cause y’all remincise
About the days growing up and the first person you kiss
And as I think back makes me wonder how
The smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia
All the kids playing out front
Little boys messin round with the girls playing double-dutch
While the dj’s spinning a tune as the old folks dance at your family
Reunion
Then six o’clock rolls around
You just finished wiping your car down
It’s time to cruise so you head to the summertime hangout
It looks like a car show
Everybody come lookin real fine
Fresh from the barber shop or fly from the beauty salon
Every moment frontin and maxin
Chillin in the car they spent all day waxin
Leanin to the side but you can’t spead through
Two miles an hour so everybody sees you
There’s an air of love and of happiness
And this is the fresh prince’s new defintion of summer madness

Chorus

Posted by Don at 01:37 PM
August 11, 2004
The English language

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth
beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at
all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are
out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Posted by Don at 05:00 PM
August 03, 2004
Heaven or Hell?

A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

No problem, just let me in," says the guy.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening attire. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls movig from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

He reflects for a minute, then the senator answers, "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...Today you voted for us!"

Posted by Don at 04:40 PM